Gorilla Glue Golliwog ‘Launches Own Hair Care Line’

Gorilla Glue Golliwog ‘Launches Own Hair Care Line’

Nothing typifies modernity more than the eternal ‘hustle’ and people talking about ‘respecting the hustle’. Yet what all this ‘success porn’ – to use Rollo Tomassi’s succinct characterisation of it – leaves out of the picture is how much work a ‘hustle’ actually is and that most ‘hustles’ are basically ‘internet famous’ marketing gigs rather than actually having a product and/or a sustainable business.

Nothing typifies this more than the Gorilla Glue Golliwog - aka Tessica Brown (yes only niggers could manage to mangle so wonderful an English name as ‘Jessica’) of Louisiana – who:

‘Sought medical treatment -- and even underwent a four-hour surgery -- after many attempts to remove the industrial-strength glue from her hair.

Her hair had been stuck in the same style for a month since she mistakenly substituted her usual Got2b Glued hair spray with Gorilla Glue.

Her hair became an impenetrable helmet, and as her social media videos about the incident racked up millions of views, people became obsessed with her predicament.’

Now guess what?

Tessica has a ‘hair care line’ well at least so Alaa Elassar over at CNN (who is apparently some sort of nigger kebab as well) would like you to believe, but aside from the overhyped headline if you actually read into what Elassar writes you can see that Tessica is nothing more than an ‘internet celebrity’ (albeit a very temporary one as she’s neither cute nor interesting [being a nigger is clearly a disadvantage in both these things but not an insurmountable one]) who is the face of a company trying to flog a repackaged/rebranded product using her memetic fame.

Elassar writes at the end of her article that:

‘That's when Brown said she began searching for a natural way to grow her hair, and ultimately collaborated with industry professionals to develop a growth-stimulating oil. Her management team declined to name their business partners.’

So basically, this product is not Tessica’s product at all but rather her ‘Management Team’s’ anonymous ‘business partner’s’. After all who really believes an idiotic coon who deliberately put industrial strength glue in her hair as a substitute for hair glue would know how to create, manufacture and launch a product – including packaging, marketing spend and PR blitz – in a matter of weeks?

No one… well apart from Tessica herself who appears to think she is the next Kylie Jenner:

‘Tessica Brown tells TMZ ... the recent launch of her "Forever Hair" products has been a rousing success with over $25,000 in sales and the early returns have her determined to become a billionaire just like Kylie did with makeup.’

It is so sad how she doesn’t understand how she is being used really: isn’t it?